ne hand we are social creatures.
On the other hand we are wired for self preservation. This, by default, is an inherent dichotomy. When coming to live together, each of the partners need to change their focus;
from ‘me’ to ‘we’. It’s just about the turning of the M upside down… Sounds easy but, as every couples learns to know, it’s a work, and it lasts a lifetime.
The key is communication. We need to learn how to talk to each other, but above all we need to learn how to listen. We have a tendency to think about our reply while the other person is still talking.
This is not listening. Not really. We also have a tendency to accumulate frustration, only to find ourselves lashing out at the worse moment possible. This is not talking. Not really.
Being in a relationship is a skill that needs to be learned like any other skill. We have to learn to know ourselves real good in order to be a good partner to our spouse. This is the only way one can harness the awareness of how to avoid conflict, or once in it, how to resolve it in a non-destructive manner.