More About Parenting
It's a known fact that babies are not born holding an instruction manual in their hands. Information and advice are bombarded from all directions, and it's really difficult to listen to yourself or be sure on how to act or what to do. Raising children sometimes becomes a very confusing mission.
We are living in an era that changes rapidly, both socially and technologically.
Today's families come in all colors of the rainbow, and new skills are needed. What worked for you parents won't necessarily work for you.
Today's parents find themselves bargaining, threatening, pleading, compensating, spoiling and pleasing their children, trying to be "friends", instead of providing a safe and secure environment for their children.
Parents need to be reminded of their role in their children's lives; they need to get the confidence to do what they need to do,
while establishing a nourishing environment with clear boundaries, structure, a sense of belonging and encouragement -- and above all, loving them without conditions.
More about Eating Problems
As strange as it may sounds, eating problems have nothing to do with a problem with food. Eating problems (and eating disorders) are about inner conflicts, emotional difficulties and interrelationship problems that manifests themselves via food, body image, and behaviors around food and body.
Food and the body, becomes the objects, the battle field, on which all inner problematic issues are being played on. The problem is that it's working.
While one is occupied with the food they are eating and the size of their pants, one cannot be in touch with their real issues. Hence, it's an illusion that the real problems are non existing, and that the actual problem is the food, the calories, the portions, etc.
Moreover, and since we do need food to survive, ceremonies and rituals around eating and food that helps to sooth emotional turmoils, becoming as addictive as any other substance. Using food as self medication is a dangerous vicious cycle.
Recovering is a long process , but fascinating one.
Strengthening your inner self so you won't need the armor of the body and the food anymore.
More About Couplehood
On the one hand we are social creatures.
On the other hand we are wired for self preservation. This, by default, is an inherent dichotomy. When coming to live together, each of the partners need to change their focus;
from 'me' to 'we'. It's just about the turning of the M upside down... Sounds easy but, as every couples learns to know, it's a work, and it lasts a lifetime.
The key is communication. We need to learn how to talk to each other, but above all we need to learn how to listen. We have a tendency to think about our reply while the other person is still talking.
This is not listening. Not really. We also have a tendency to accumulate frustration, only to find ourselves lashing out at the worse moment possible. This is not talking. Not really.
Being in a relationship is a skill that needs to be learned like any other skill. We have to learn to know ourselves real good in order to be a good partner to our spouse. This is the only way one can harness the awareness of how to avoid conflict, or once in it, how to resolve it in a non-destructive manner.
