What I learned In30 Years Of Marriage

Last week, 7.7, we are celebrating 30 years of marriage.

This is some of the things I learned over the years:

1. That HaShem loves me very much – He sent him to me.

2. That being stubborn is an advantage – holding and not letting go, insisting on the togetherness even when is though.

3. That to be lenient is required – it’s just not worth it to spoil the ‘us’ on account the personal.

4. That there is no point in trying to change the other – hardly ourselves is difficult.

5. That children are the bridge to ourselves – together and separately.

6. That it’s not just more important to give then to receive, it’s preferable.

7. That at the end of every giving there’s receiving.

8. That inner bliss does not depend on an outside approval.

9. That happiness is contagions.

10. That the house needs to be taken care of just like we take care of us and the kids.

11. That accepting the other as is – begins with accepting ourselves as is.

12. That there is nothing like waking up the house with the smell of frying egg and fresh salad.

13. That only when it’s good in the company of myself – it’s good in the company of others.

14. That your spouse cannot replace a best friend – but he is the best friend in the whole wide world.

15. That devotion is very moving.

16. That doing something only because the other wants to – is love.

17. That good couplehood is not how he fulfills my needs 0 but how can I fulfill his needs.

18. That loving him is a privilege.

19. That we are not identical – but we are so much alike.

20. That we are not the same – but this is what makes it all so worth it.

21. That I love him more every day.

22. That I still envy him – even though it happened over 31 years ago.

23. That when it’s hard on the outside – getting closer makes it all much more easy.

24. That what we have now – it the best thing to have.

25. That it’s better not to take it personally – even though it’s impossible to tale it publicly.

26. That it’s possible to say whatever you want to – but it’s really the tone that makes the music.

27. That there is no one that knows me so well – truly.

28. That it is a miracle every day.

29. That there is nothing like the moment he enters home at the end of every day.

30. And that being wrapped up in his hug – is the most at home that there is.

Love. Always. Forever.

[© Smadar Prager, CGP]

_____________________________________________________________________

Smadar Prager, CGP is an Israeli Certified Group Psychotherapist since 1998 with a home based private practice located in South Valley Stream (Five Towns area, Long Island).

She focuses on relationships in the Family, Parenthood, Couplehood, and with self.

To schedule an appointment please contact:

smadarprager@gmail.com or 917-513-1490

www.smadarprager.com

About Demons and Caves

Once upon a time there was a very enlightened and holy Buddhist monk. He lived in an isolated cave, on a mountain side, and occupied his time only in prayers and reflections all day and all night.

And one day he returned to his cave only to find that it is full of sassy and ugly demons. They completely took over his cave, cooked and ate his food, slept in his bed, ripped apart his holy books, dirtied...

Learn More

10 Back to School Essentials

1. Always prepare cloths and backpacks with the child the night before.

2. Make sure going to bed is a pleasant experience (and on time!).

3. Wake up the kids relaxed & with a smile (music is always a plus).

4. Allow enough time to calmly organize (you too).

10 Back to School Essentials

Three ways

There are three ways to respond when another lashes out at you, yelling and complaining. The first one is to stay quit and indifferent, and allow the other to explode with anger. The second one is to lash out right back at him/her.

The third one is to calmly and pleasantly respond to the ‘what’ and not to the ‘how’. Meaning to the issue and not the way the issue is being...

Learn More

Build yourself into it!

While watching ‘Rehab Addict’ on HGTV, Mr. Chester Bushman, Nicole Curtis’s 90 year old grandfather, said this heartfelt sentence, "When you are building a home, you are building yourself into it, just like marriage!"

I watched and thought to myself that there is no substitute to old age wisdom ; that we have so much to learn from our elders and that there's so much ..

Learn More

When Expectations Differ

Mr. and Mrs. H. have an endearing habit. Every morning, they sip tea together and chat a bit before each turns to his/her daily routine.

Their favorite location is their small kitchen table located next to the big window which overlooks the greenery outside and the neighbors’ houses. For the past few weeks, every time their neighbor comes out to hang her laundry, Mrs. H. gets this look in her eyes.

Learn More

What I learned In30 Years Of Marriage

Last week, 7.7, we are celebrating 30 years of marriage.
This is some of the things I learned over the years:

1. That HaShem loves me very much – He sent him to me.

2. That being stubborn is an advantage – holding and not letting go, insisting on the togetherness even when is though.

Learn More

Don’t Go To Sleep When Angry!

In the house where I grow up, I didn’t get the chance to learn couplehood

Being in awe from the fact that there are couples that not only live together after the age of 50, but actually really like each other, I asked my future mother in law an advice before our wedding, “How do you do that? How do you get to this fantastic achievement?

Learn More

What I Learned FromRebbitzen Jungries A’H

I had a very great Zechut (privilege) to know Rebbetzin Jungries personally. Not for very long, and not so close, but enough to feel like I lost my grandmother.

I met her by chance. I know there're no coincidences, and all is orchestrated from above, but at the time it happened it felt totally random. In the beginning of 2015, while sweating in physical therapy…

Learn More
Smadar Prager CGP